leaving the past behind…..

We’ve all been there , spent sleepless nights ruining our present by holding on to our past. And it hurts. I get it, because I have been there too .

It is the grudge that everyone hold in their late 20’s or in early 30’s .

I’ve struggled with it.

I’ve struggled let go of my past, moving on from grief, guilt, shame, pain and forgiving myself. because of this I got stuck for long time and helpless to move further, then I realized “heavy weight” that pulling me back to reach my goals is nothing but the past i am clutching for long time.

So I opted to move on. Learnt that letting go is essential, holding back kills the productivity inside ourselves.

Letting go is a process that takes time. But the sooner you move on through the process of letting go what is hurting you, the sooner better are to come to you.

Here are 9 things to concentrate to leave past behind and look beyond agony.

Focus on future

If we want to fly we have to leave the earth, if we want to move forward we have to let go of past that holds us back. If we are busy wasting time on pain in the past we are missing out time to focus on our future. We cant move forward holding heavy weights on our shoulders, once we put them behind it is easy to move further.

Making ourselves busy in focusing on future eventually we don’t have time to cry on past. If we are not thinking about it, we will certainly procure success.

Once we begin to see you deserve bright, exciting future, letting goof our dark, painful past will become the best choice we’ve ever made.

Emotional reframing

Occasionally letting go and leaving the past behind is simply about changing the way we’ve thought about things, looking at the past with a new perspective. We should reframe our thoughts about our dark and learn to look at them in a new way this might help to move on from it. We cant expect the apology we think we deserve. We should forgive everyone and everything including ourselves in order to move forward.

Brave enough

Undertaking role of victim is easy and sometimes it will lift us to move further, but we are making ourselves feel and look vulnerable. We should be brave enough to let go of past incidents. Victimizing ourselves gain sympathy but also makes us weak. Letting go doesn’t mean we are weak it means that we are brave and strong enough to accept its time to oust the past.

Complaining

Here we go again playing role of victim is just like pointing fingers and pointing fingers is just complaining. We can’t just keep on complaining about the incidents making excuses for our failures. We have to let go by forgiving. As we are pointing fingers and blaming we are just clinging to that incidents and not moving forward.

Pain

Instead of letting go we have to first let everything in . We have to get to the root of our anguish to experience pain and then we should realize that we don’t deserve to be harmed every time thinking about it. Charlie Chaplin once told the audience a wonderful joke and all the people started laughing…

Chaplin repeated the same joke and only few people laughed. He again repeated the same joke but this time no one laughed.

Then he told these beautiful lines

“ when you cannot laugh on the same joke again and again…
then why do you cry again and again on the same worry”.

By crying on same pain we are just wasting our precious time.

Express

Holding your feeling leads to depression, anxiety, headache, stress eating, high blood pressure. To overcome these, expressing what we are feeling about that incident to loved-ones, trusted ones or even journaling it down can make us happy. It relieves much pain. Maintaining small group of trusted friends is worth to escape from pain. Even spending time with pets also decrease the pain we are going through.

Busy in making memories

When we are busy in making memories we have less time to spend in past.

We should take a quick escape to spend with ourselves. Like going on vacations spending time with family and friends. Even participating in good deeds, Charity, helping people or animals in need. This can make us happy and guilt free.

I always prefer yoga and meditation as a quick escape. When I don’t have time to spend out-doors.

Dive into passion

Focusing on future along with focusing on our interests is very crucial. Hobbies that we left in childhood like dancing, painting, journaling, sports etc., are very important to forget about past. Here I started to journal about my feelings and painting, investing, learning new things as a new passion.

Its time to forgive

Leaving the past behind you is about embracing life changes, trusting in ourselves and appreciating that every experience will bring us value in life. Life is too short to hold on to past experience that continue to poison our hearts.

We have to learn that moving on is okay, changing is okay, we should appreciate change in positive way. Changing always reminds me that I have grown mentally in a beautiful way .

We all find ourselves worthy when we try to change and keep moving on from what holding us back.